Vulva Interview: with Lily

This is a reoccurring interview that the TFC blog conducts with random women. The idea is to show how varied and unique each woman's sexual experience can be. To protect the interviewee's privacy, she will be identified as her favorite flower.

TFC: Age?

L: 32

TFC: When is the last time you looked at your vulva?

L: About 3 months ago

TFC: What does it look like to you?

L: I have trouble finding something poetic or a metaphor for it. It looks like a pussy. It is light pink with a darker marron color near the edge of my lips. It's sweet and delicate looking.

TFC: Age at first orgasm and how did you achieve it?

L: I don't remember. I started masturbating when I was 2 ( I realized that if I roll around with my blanket in a particular way it felt good), but I don't remember my first orgasm. It was early though. It would have been through masturbation over my panties or pjs.

TFC: What does an orgasm feel like to you? Do you have a definition for orgasm?

L: For me the rising sensation with a big peak and going over or cumming part is a subset of orgasm in general. To me it is bigger than that and encompasses a whole slew of experiences where my body's involuntary musculature is activated, I begin feeling energy or tingles coursing through me and loose my inhibitions and my mind is solely focused on the now. My identity melts away and I am swept up and overwhelmed by the rush in my entire body.

TFC: When was your most recent orgasm and what were the circumstances?

L: My most recent was about 5 days ago. I had decided to do some BDSM exploration with a very experienced dominant ( I am submissive by nature).

Our play veered towards knife play this evening and as the intensity and energy escalated, the knife play became more and more centered around my pussy. It was a very very big knife, bigger than the biggest knife in the typical knife set at home. It was like a hunting knife, meant to kill very big game. It was also very sharp, not used or dulled in any way.

By the end of our play, the knife was in me, very slowly, the tip moving towards my cervix. I could feel the light prick as it reached it (similar to the feeling when you're getting a pap test.). He started licking my clit at the same time and then applyed thuddy pressure to the knife, moving it inside me in little bursts. I was really excited, and when I started reaching orgasm, my pussy began to contracting. In this case, I was a little worried about contracting around this very large sharp knife inside me so I was trying to let go and release and so incredibly aware of every micromovement so as not to cut myself with contractions. I had never done anything like that before, and don't imagine I will anytime soon. The exploration was fascinating though. It was about the physical sensation of the cold metal and the tongue on my clit, the surrender and vulnerability and being totally out of control and the mind fuck of "what the hell is happening right now, this is crazy - cool!" at the same time.

TFC: Have you ever had trouble reaching orgasm? if so, how did it make you feel?

L: Yes, with my ex-husband. We were married for 7 years. He was inexperienced when we met and I didn't like to be the teacher. Sex wasn't about orgasm. I would only reach orgasm on my own masturbating. I also have trouble reaching orgasm when receiving oral sex. I find that most partners are not attentive enough and I get tired of telling people to slow down or go lighter that I just avoid it all together. Also, at certain times during my cycle I am less likely to be turned on and find it harder to have an orgasm.

TFC: What did you do to overcome?

L: I got to know my body, my system and what I was all about in that area. I learned to ask for what I want and not be shy to give instruction. I decided to live a life with orgasm as it's foundation, harnessing it and learning to listen to it and it's energy as the signal for what is really going on with me, who I am and where my power as a woman comes from.

TFC: Have any nicknames for your vulva?

L: No. I refer to it as my pussy.

(TFC is always looking for more women's vulva perspectives. If you're interested in sharing yours, please send an email to